He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
