So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
