I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
