PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
