The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
