I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have aggressive nipples.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
