Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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