His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
