I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
