I am in a vortex of obligation.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
