just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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