Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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