I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
