I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
