GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
