why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize