there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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