Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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