I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
