But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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