Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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