I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
