I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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