It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
cat food counts as protein by the way
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
