So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
