My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize