he wants to bone in the snuggie
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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