It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
