Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
