Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
