I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Are we still banned from the library?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
