You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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