i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
