sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
