I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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