i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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