I hate all girls vehemently.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
