Umm I'm too high to move.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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