The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
