I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
