i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
