I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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