I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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