It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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