stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
