did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
3pm strippers are depressing
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
