She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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