I heard we made out
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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