i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
