There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
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