**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
