remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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