you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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