we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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