it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
