There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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