I faked an abortion last night.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
