Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
