You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
