I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have feelings that need drinking.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
