I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
