It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
