OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
