Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
