I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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