im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
