whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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