TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
