bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
